Friday, January 11, 2013

Lonely & Religious

Don't ask me why I'm Lonely!
It's when you wake up in the middle of the evening and it's already dark outside and it has been pouring all day. You can still hear the sound of the drops outside and that behind the windows EQed "zzzhhhhh" of New York City streets. Its car gears, air-conditioners, people thinking, water moving and the "never-sleeps" air. Everything is perfectly mixed and mastered without ProTools in a beautiful trance. We for some reason call "noise"?...
You lay in a big nice bed where the other half of it is piled with bags and clothes. And its dark.
No. There's light coming from the other room. Who is home?
Then you realize that your the one who always leave the light on... You realize that they are not there. Nobody is there. You get this feeling of being all alone, only one, in the whole universe. You are in the center of the world but you are so lonely. And you know that if you want to hug them you cant cuz they are not there. You can't just go out, take a cab, subway or bus and come to them. You will end up coming to nowhere, to oblivion. You are on the island with water around and there's no way... You have no one you can come to and cry and say you love them. Tears start coming down, you close your eyes and try to imagine other times, the past. You want to come back and just be happy but you know that all this is your choice so you get up and go.
You stand in the bathroom and look in the mirror. You see your ugly face and say: "How will I become a star?"And here you know that the God is your help, the God is the only one you can come to.
You go and take your notebook to write this all down to remember and appreciate things...
So don't ask me why I'm Religious!
(March 13, 2010)

Jan 11, 2013 new moon in Sagittarius...


  1. Wow powerful writing and brave to share. I too have these moments, and I'm grateful for them, maybe not at that time, but right now when I read this and it feels like I felt that way a long time ago;)
    xx I love your writing!

    1. thank you! I knew I'm not alone on this... We are all different but still the same...